Vivah.. the movie by Sooraj Barjatiya , got a chance to see it over the weekend. It talks about "arranged marraige" a concept not very alien to any person brought up in India. A practice which has been going on since a long long time and is still a very common tradition. But it makes me wonder with the coming generations becoming more and more independent and cosmopolitan is such a practice still the best way of finding a soul mate???
From my grandparents to their children and then to our generation I have seen arranged marriages happen. The guy meeting the girl with his entire family and then the marriage being fixed after a meeting or two and then they living happily ever after . What about love? Will it also happen or it is something which does not exist in real life ?? And when anyone questions they say "kya bolti hain main jaanti thi kya tere papa ko yeah tere bhaiya jaante the kya teri bhabhi ko , pyaar vyaar sab ho jata hain..shaadi ke baad" and I wonder kya sacchi ho jata hain shaadi ke baad? Is it that simple?? Can you meet a person in one day and think that he is the best friend I can ever have , he is the one I will be able to spend my entire life with , he is the "chosen one" ?? Is it just sooooo fast a process when even if u want to buy an expensive piece of jewellery or a house for that matter u think about it for such a long time before making a decision and a matter such as marriage which is far more valuable can be made in a day or two. And then they say " tum ladkiyo ne khoob padai kar li hain na isliye aise baatein karti ho hum ne duniya nahin dekhi hain kya?"
But then the rate of divorces have been much more higher than what it was before is it only because its an option known to girls now and that is why it is so? Or is the idea of arranging marriages showing its true colors now with marriages not working out as people thought it wud be and so the fights ... and so the divorces...But then not all love marriages succeed too , you see divorces in those cases too . Is an year or two enough to know a person. Can you ever know a person completely ?? There are always some unknown facts and dont people change with age??
Isnt it easier to relate to a person who has a similar background as you have or talks the same language as you speak at home ??? Isnt family also important in some way or form when beginning a new relationship???
Then what is the way to go to guarantee a successful marriage and to finding a soul mate??Can anyone guarantee a marriage for that matter ?????????
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8 comments:
yeh wadde wadde arguments and counterarguments, hyderabad is gonna be a fun place ;)
Yes for us I have big doubts it will be for you!!!
Love marriage or arranged marriage are like two paths to the same goal, just like two religions. Arranged marriage was started for a whole different purpose at a very different time and there is no reason to stick to it now also BUT at the same time there is no need to force love marriage into one's life.
Finally the success of a relation depends on the persons involved not how the relation started !!
Nice Blog.. The line is true that we are forced to select a girl selected by parents to marry. If we say any neg points inside them the only answer we get is Dheere Dheere Seekh Jayegi Beta.. Baachi Hai... Damm it Answer me only one thing.. Baachi se Shaadi Kiye the kya??
But if we marry according to our choice and if any problem arise we get comments from our parents itself saying Now u Only Tackle the Matter..
My opinion is Jus not to Marry & Live a Peaceful Life..
I know i am not supposed to say this dialog coz i am Happily Married...
The way we born and bought up in INDIA and the advice we get from our parents.. Our mentality will be forced only at one side that Talking to a unknown guy is totally sin and can jus spoil our family name.. I agree with u 50%. That if we take time to select Jewellary & House y not for Life Partner.. But my view is our parents sacrifice lots of things on us .. Y cant we go according to there choice.. After all they are our parents and they wont take any Bad Decision for Us...
When 2 puple get in an affair they only see possitive side of each other. They behave very normally and they accept each and everything . But after marriage when negativity comes out is not acceptable by the partner. Or it is very difficult to accept.
So what is the differance between traditional marriage and love marriage. Now a days when traditional marriage is fixed both will get a nice time to know each other. Spends lots of time. And one good thing abt traditional marriage is our parents in there efforts see all good things like Family, Satus, Wealth & Character. & rest lies with our destiny in both the concept for the term Marriage...
The bottom line of the article is weather be a love marriage or traditional marriage one should lead a happy & successful marriage life.. And put in all the efforts to make one.
Sorry if any of my feeling hurted u. Its jus my view of the term marriage.
Megha,
I agree with you that are parents do alot for us and there is no one in this entire world who can even think about doing what they do for us and giving up something as small as love is the least we can do ..
So for me the best kinds is the one all are happy parents and kids ...:),
And marriage is just the beginning life has a lot in store for us be it arranged or love every marriage comes with some good and bad , we all need to learn to compromise and adjust to our partners .. so its a long journey ahead!!And I feel as girls we need to do a bit more wat do u think??
Just what i needed to read right now! more confusion :)
Hey!
I just camr across ur blog hope u dont mind...
There are no guarantees with marriage whether 'arranged' or 'love.' Modern days arranged marriage are more like a blind date set up by folks but yes! there is a limited time frame to assess things. I feel u look at the practical aspects like family, upbringing, financial stability and expectations which often get neglected when ur in love...
To each its own... a marriage whether arranged or love will work out only if both the people are willing to adapt and enjoy every minute of it...
i have been in love and i have gone through the whole arrange marriage process too... its really not about the medium but to be with someone who makes u smile n yes intution plays a big part for me...
as for the movie ' vivah' it was crap.... couldnt relate to it at all...
cheers:)
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